Each member of the Island positions herself differently in her cube – your Humble Narrator faces a corner so that I have a monitor on each side of my face, as well as ample work area.  This setup is not without its downfalls however, because some of the Elders do not abide by certain personal space rules.  Should anybody complete a textbook cubicle ambush, I can be mercilessly pinned into my little nook – without the ability to turn around and face the attacker head on. 

It won’t be easy to tell this tale, as I’ve woke many a night drenched in sweat and shaking furiously, but I feel it would be irresponsible to keep it to myself.  

It was the winter of 2008, the sky was very overcast, and the mood on the Island was dark.  I had just finished closing for the month – or so I thought – when brittle old Bony Elder came tottering into my cube.  She was returning some work for me to adjust to her liking, so she placed it in front of me and started to explain.  That was when it happened.  She leaned over my left shoulder (this is the rough part, hold me) and each of her skinny boobs came to rest on either side of my upper arm (holy water balloons Batman!)  I couldn’t convince her fast enough that I knew exactly what I needed to do, and thanks for coming by!  I think the incident lasted 15 seconds, but to me – an eternity!  

I had barely forgotten that tragic day when it happened again last week.  This time, it was <blinks back tears> – Cankles!  I had a question about the fixed asset system, and had it pulled up on my screen to illustrate my issue, so she trundled over and I was pinned again.  Instead of the “one on each side of my arm” maneuver, she opted for the “plop them on either shoulder” routine.  Yes, my head actually divided her two girls for her, and my shoulders provided the reinforcement they no doubt yearned for.  Again, I could not insist that I had obtained clarity on my asset issue fast enough! 

I have to go now, as the shivering is making it hard to type….

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